woof

(4am = thinking time)

- i kind of sort of hate ugba because it makes me want to do haas more by reconfirming that business is interesting to me and i am somewhat okay at it while simultaneously reminding me that a) i’m not competitive and the environment will kill me and b) my gpa sucks and c) (result of a + b, really) i probably won’t get in

- i thought highschool/IB/other fun hobbies (“hobbies”) i used to pursue defined for me pretty clearly what i am interested in/somewhat talented with/suck at …. college has now shown me that i was entirely wrong 

- i slept for 5 hours this afternoon after my midterm, missed class, missed another (not so optional) class, missed meeting, and am still tired. 

- ^ so much for not skipping class this week -_- 

- since when did school/class/academia dominate so many of my thoughts? further proof that i have no idea what my mind is really all about, or i’m just changing/growing up super fast and not keeping up with myself 

- interesting “homesick vs friendsick” conversation today, and i realize i am maybe a bit of both, or maybe just 10% homesick and 90% friendsick 

- i’ve been so anxious and uneasy lately about, well, everything. i don’t know. i kind of want to talk to someone about it but i’m also feeling kind of like i’m in my own little universe lately. or that i kind of want to be. maybe it’s time to spend sometime (finally) taking care of myself. 

- this is possibly the most … not uplifting thing i’ve written in a while. i’m not even sad (at least i don’t think so?) right now. this says something, maybe. 

(4am = also homework time)